America is an incredibly judgmental country, particularly when it comes to evaluating our women. We expect women to conform to certain ideals of beauty that are not only unrealistic at times, but unhealthy, as well. Meanwhile, some of our country’s most non-traditionally attractive women, such as Lois from the Family Guy, never get the attention they deserve. Are we really so elitist to deny that Family Guy not only makes a laugh, but also, when Lois is on screen, gives us a boner? In order to repair America’s harmful ideals and expectations of women, and to satisfy the curiosity of Family Guy fans nationwide, America needs Lois to pose nude for Playboy.

Certainly, many old fashioned Americans might reject the idea of a cartoon character posing nude for our country’s premier adult magazine. They might fear that a cartoon character, particularly one with such a strong sense of humor and sense of self, might distract from the deeper values of Playboy, such as titty. However, America is supposed to be a country of innovation, and if we can’t embrace Lois for all her sexiness, then we’re not only hypocrites, but quite frankly, we don’t deserve to see what’s beneath Lois’ knickers.

As a patriotic American, I want to believe that our country has the ability to value sexy women regardless of whether they are live action or animated. Moreover, call me crazy, but I think Lois might be more sexy because of her animation. I mean, her hair is always perfect, her breasts haven’t sagged despite having two children and hitting mid 40s, and not once in the entire course of the series have we ever seen Lois go to the bathroom. Is there anything sexier, I ask, than knowing a woman never takes a poop?

While America took a step in the right direction with the April 2004 Maxim spread of Marge Simpson, it is necessary for us to now go a step further. Not just because Lois is sexy and deserves to be in Playboy. Not just because you’re tired of covering your boner while watching Family Guy with your friends. But because cartoon characters are women, too, and they deserve America’s respect.

backlink

Share

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!