Americans get lied to all the time - by our media, by our government, and of course, by those infomercials which claim they can provide up six inches of male enhancement. (Utter bullshit, I assure you.) These lies not only translate into a country of less trusting citizens, but an air of hostility that grows thicker with each and every lie: we now resent huge factions of the media, a large percentage of Capitol Hill politicians, and anyone who tries to convince us they can make our weiners even a fraction of an inch longer. Unfortunately, this cycle of lies and hostility will probably not cease on its own. Thus, for the sake of America, we must target and make examples of our country’s most egregious liars: those restaurants that keep up their “Grand Opening” signs long after their grand opening is over.

By enforcing a limit for how long restaurants can keep up their “Grand Opening” signs, America will be taking a firm stance against liars nationwide: if you attempt to deceive your fellow Americans, there will, most likely, be very mild consequences. A new law directed at “Grand Opening” signs will not only be a slap on the hands to offending restaurant owners, but a wakeup call to liars nationwide. After all, if your local Japanese restaurant with the most amazing miso soup you’ve ever tasted is being targeted, then clearly no one is invincible.

It may prove difficult for America to reach a consensus on how long restaurants can keep up their “Grand Opening” signs. It may also may prove difficult to enforce the new law, regardless of how many Americans support it. However, over time, the benefits will be tremendous: not only will Americans be able to trust “Grand Opening” signs once again, but maybe, just maybe, we’ll know that when an infomercial promises up to six inches, we’ll get at least one.

backlink

Share

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!