In a recent Shit America Needs article, in which I suggested McDonald’s should change it’s slogan to “C’mon, You’re Fat Anyway,” I discussed how Americans have lost a good deal of trust for corporate America. However, this problem extends to peer-to-peer relationships, as well, wherein Americans have become increasingly distrustful of their neighbors, friends, and even local marijuana dealers. Although the exact source of this problem is difficult to locate, it’s likely that it began with small acts of deceit, which have snowballed into something far greater. What’s more, these small acts of deceit most definitely continue to this day, and must be addressed before Americans lose the entirety of trust for their peers. Thus, as the first step in the salvation of peer-to-peer trust, we need Americans to only use the phrase “LOL” when they are legitimately laughing out loud.

Although such a mandate might seem trivial to some, it is essential for our popular abbreviations to set the tone of peer-to-peer trust - particularly as Americans shift towards a dialect that is entirely composed of abbreviations, or
“abreevs.” Within the next decade, after all, I imagine Americans will no longer use full sentences, but just catchy abbreevs created by anorexic teenagers who spend 24/7 on AIM and Blackberry messenger. Additionally, from a pure humanitarian perspective, it is quite hurtful when someone overuses the phrase “LOL” to a point where it’s clear that they were never laughing (or have been completely wasted) throughout the duration of your conversation(s).

Naturally, it would take time for Americans to respect that “LOL” can only be used when legitimately laughing out loud. But when that occurs, peer-to-peer trust in America would be on a steady path towards salvation, and the future of abbreviations would be brighter, and more meaningful, than ever imagined.

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