With the long awaited “Sex And The City” movie coming out this past weekend, Americans are once again wooed into a fantasy land, protected from the harsh realities of sexual intercourse in our country. Aside from the simple fact that most Americans are ugly (at least relative to “Sex And The City” characters), sex in America is riddled with problems – such as STDs and the possibility of childbirth. Thus, in order to balance out the movie’s idealistic representation of sex, America needs a reality TV spinoff called “STDs In The City.”

Even though America is a relatively sexually unadventurous country, there exist a fair number of carriers (ie, girls who wear pink Uggs, dudes who rock athletic bands on their forearms, and even Senator Larry Craig), who have kept the STD train chugging along. Regardless of whether the “Sex And The City” characters can be categorized as such carriers, the film certainly turns a blind eye to their very existence. While this is probably essential for the film’s entertainment, it’s setting Americans up for future disappointment – not to mention redness and itching.

Perhaps a reality series called “STDs In The City” would be kinda difficult to watch, particularly with the close up shots of genital warts that might roll over the opening credits. But if America continues to buy the “Sex And The City” hype and not be wary of potential carriers, then the STD train isn’t going to be stopping any time in the near future. Of course, if you don’t mind a little redness and itching, maybe STDs aren’t that big a deal.

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